What Makes People Happy? The top three list.
The one thing most studies on happiness agree on is this: family and relationships are the surest way to happiness. Close behind are meaningful work, positive thinking, and the ability to forgive. What does not seem to make people happy are money, material possessions, intelligence, education, age, gender, or attractiveness. Here are the top three factors that make us happy, and what you can do to increase happiness in your life. 1. Family and relationships The happiest people spend time with those they love, including family, partners, or friends. Contact with others fulfills two basic human needs—the need for social connections with others of our kind, and the need for personal growth, which makes us feel fully alive. A simple strategy for happiness is to accept social invitations whenever possible, or to initiate social gatherings with family and friends. Face-to-face meetings make us happier than online networking, especially because different forms of physical contact release endorphins. So use technology to set up meetings, but get out there and meet up the old-fashioned way. 2. Meaningful work We are happiest when engaged in activities that make us forget ourselves and lose track of time. This can happen when making music, gardening, playing with children, practicing sports, writing, or even pouring over a spreadsheet. We experience a sense of fulfillment when using and developing our skills, talents, and abilities. When we complete a challenge or task that we are pleased with, we are happy with our achievement. 3. Positive thinking One attitude contributing to happiness is the refusal to compare with others. Be content that the house you have is “enough of a house” instead of envying your neighbor’s bigger house. If you really have to compare, compare down and not up. For example, Olympic bronze medalists who consider themselves lucky to get a medal are happier than silver medalists who feel that they missed the gold medal. A subset of positive thinking is gratitude. Grateful people are happy people. Keeping a gratitude journal or saying prayers aloud every night is a surefire way to increase your happiness.
0 Comments
By Dr. J. Allan Peterson, Better Families
Humanity is prone to a negative mental attitude. Society’s input is predominantly negative. Our conversations at home accentuate the negative. Research shows that for every one negative thing you say to a child, you must say four positive things to keep the balance. And yet, how quick all of us are to pick out and emphasize the flaws and failures, but how slow we are to praise. Behavioral researcher Shad Helmsletter concurs, “Most of the everyday suggestions in our society are extremely negative. Violent TV translates into a more violent culture. Sensationalism in the media toward immediate gratification may well have helped produce the almost immediate use of harmful drugs. A big-city newspaper agreed not to put any stories about violence on the front page for a year. During that period the rate of violence in that city dropped significantly! As soon as the stories reappeared on the front page, the violence rate jumped right back up to where it had been before. It is also calculated that in an average home from birth until a child reaches the late teen years, he has heard negative comments such as, ‘It can’t be done,’ ‘You shouldn’t do that,’ ‘It’s impossible’, 148,200 times.” Be careful what you say, it may come back to haunt you. A new study finds that if you describe someone as athletic, cruel, talented, or dishonest, the listener will often see you the same way. The researchers conducted a series of four studies among university students to demonstrate that communicators become associated with the traits they describe in others. Some 75 to 80 percent of the students unconsciously transferred traits to the communicators of the information. What we give out will come back to us. The finest gift we can give another human being is the gift of an excellent expectation. The principle “give and it shall be given unto you” applies to expressing appreciation, too. Quote of the day:
“Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.” — Zig Zigler Reflection: An old man became blind in his old age. But, having traversed many lands, amid the fairest and loveliest scenes of the world, he had stored away in his memory, countless pictures of landscapes, mountain-scenery, valleys of rare beauty, and great and splendid cities. Then, as he lay upon his bed or reposed on his easy-chair, his face would often brighten into a rich glow, as if some inner light was shining through. He was pondering once more, some splendid scene he had looked upon in the sunny Orient. The chamber-walls of his memory were hung all over with pictures which filled his darkened years with joy and beauty. It mattered not to him—that the light had gone out, leaving thick gloom all about him. His heart was his world, and there was no darkness there. In a far truer sense than many of us are aware—our hearts make our world for us. The things we behold are but shadows of the things that are in us. If we have bright pictures in our heart—the whole world, wherever we go, will be a lovely picture gallery! Every scene will be a panorama of beauty. The most repulsive objects will wear a tinge of loveliness. On the other hand, a somber, cheerless heart—clothes the whole world in shadow and gloom. What sort of pictures do you have in your heart? Quote of the day:
"The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large.” —Confucius Reflection: You and I have been in many situations when someone burst in to the room and said, "I've got news." Immediately this person receives the full attention of everyone present. The point is, sometimes the news they bring is good, and yet, sometimes it’s negative. So, I challenge you to think twice before passing on “the news”. Pass on good news. Good news does more than merely get attention; good news brings good results. Good news results in enthusiasm. Good news even promotes good digestion. Just because there are more broadcasters of bad news than there are of good news, don't be misled. No one ever won a friend, no one ever made money, and no one ever accomplished anything good by broadcasting bad news. It's pointless to pass on the bad. Make it a habit to always speak positively! Broadcast good news about life, about others, about situations, about how you feel. Be an "I-feel-great" person. Simply say, "I feel great" at every possible opportunity. If you do, you will feel better. By the same token, telling people, "I feel awful," I guarantee, will make you feel just that—awful! How we feel is, in large part, is determined by how we think we feel. Why not determine to be a transmitter of good news? Tell everyone the good that happened today. Encourage others—compliment them at every opportunity. Tell them about the positive things that are happening. Recall the amusing, pleasant things you experienced and let the unpleasant things stay buried. Spread good news! Quote of the day:
"Positive anything is better than negative nothing.” —Elbert Hubbard Reflection: Isn’t it interesting how sunflowers always turn their face toward the sun? The fact is, they follow the sun across the sky. Experiment with it yourself. Position the sunflower away from the window and you will discover that in a short time the sunflower will resume its original position—facing toward the sun. With amazing persistence the sunflower will refuse to face the darkness. It will insist on ever looking toward the light. Let’s learn a lesson from the sunflower. Let’s not allow ourselves to face toward the gloom and doom of life. Let’s never sit down in the shadows of sorrow and let the night cast the dark shadows of gloom and despair upon us. Let’s turn our faces toward the light. Adversity should serve to make us better and give us renewed skill and power; it should make our hearts softer, our spirits kinder, and give us a more gentle touch. Let’s learn needed lessons, and then go on to experience new love and better service. Stay positive like the sunflower. Turn away from negativity. Keep your chin up. Always look toward the positive. Quote of the day:
“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” — Epictetus Reflection: One day, a professor entered the classroom and asked his students to prepare for a surprise test. They all waited anxiously at their desks for the exam to begin. The professor handed out the exams with the text facing down, as usual. Once he handed them all out. He asked the students to turn the papers over. To everyone’s surprise, there were no questions just a black dot in the center of the sheet of paper. The professor then told them he wanted them to write about what they had seen there. At the end of the class the professor took all the exams and started reading each one out loud in front to the students. All of them without exception wrote about the black dot, trying to explain its position in the center or defining the dot, etc. After all had been read the professor explained. “I’m not going to grade you on this. I just wanted to give you something to think about. No one wrote about the white part of the paper. Everyone focused on the black dot and the same happens in our lives. We have a white piece of paper to observe and enjoy, but we always focus on the dark spots. We have many blessings and have many reasons to celebrate every day. However, we mainly focus on the dark spots, the lacks, such as health issues that bother us, lack of money, complicated relationships, disappointments and the list goes on. The dark spots are very small when compared to everything we have in our lives, but they are the ones that pollute our mind. Take your eyes away from the black dot in your life and enjoy the blessings of each moment that life gives you. Be happy and live life filled with thankfulness. Quote of the day:
"The measure of mental health is the disposition to find good everywhere.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson Consider: David H. Fink, a psychiatrist for the Veterans Administration and author of “Release from Nervous Tension” made a study on the stressed and mentally unbalanced. He studied two groups, the first group was made up of thousands of people who were suffering from mental and emotional disturbances; the second group contained only those who were free from such tensions. Gradually one fact began to stand out: those who suffered from extreme tension had one trait in common-they were habitual faultfinders, constant critics of people and things around them. Whereas the men and women who were free of all tensions were the least fault finding. It would seem that the habit of criticizing is a prelude or mark of the nervous, and of the mentally unbalanced. Take a moment to determine how critical and fault finding you are and take measures to correct that before your stress and tension becomes unmanageable. Quote of the day:
“I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value.” --Hermann Hesse Reflection: A major factor in making progress is shedding any mindset that holds you back, and taking on a new mindset that will have a positive effect on your behavior and outlook. We all have some wrong attitudes, so it behooves us to find out what those are and work to do whatever is necessary to transform them into positive ones. The definition of mindset is, “A set of beliefs or a way of thinking that determines somebody’s behavior and outlook.” What this means is that the way we look at things, our attitudes, the things we think and believe, determine our behavior. To illustrate this point, consider the story about two shoe salesmen who were sent to Africa. The first salesman wrote the home office saying, “Nobody wears shoes here,” and turned in his resignation. The second salesman was thrilled with the potential he found and wrote home saying, “Everybody in Africa needs shoes!” The first fellow’s mindset, his negative attitude‚ caused him to resign. He had the wrong outlook about the situation, and this way of thinking determined his behavior, which in this case was to give up in despair. Contrast this to the other fellow who had a positive mindset. “Everyone in Africa needs shoes!” What a difference! The positive mindset brought faith. Where one man saw an impossible situation, the other saw endless possibilities. Clearly, our mindset affects our outlook and, most importantly, our behavior. To get the most out of life and give the most in return, it’s important that we shed any negative mindsets that hold us back, and instead embrace new, positive mindsets that will change our behavior and performance for the better. A positive mindset will help us to act in a positive manner. What mindsets do you need to change? Quote of the day:
“The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.” — William James Reflection: Choosing a positive attitude is a process. We don't just choose it once and expect everything to be perfect from that moment on. We will still experience setbacks, delays, accidents, frustrations, arguments, fatigue, and fear. The secret is how we choose to react to these experiences. Do we want to let them ruin our day, or do we choose to pick ourselves up and look hopefully to the future again? We do have the power to choose. You may have noticed that each experience often determines the quality of the next experience, causing a chain reaction in our lives. If one little thing goes wrong, it can throw off our plans for the rest of the day. In this context, it's easy to see how a positive attitude can be powerful. Rather than allowing one incident ruin our day, with a positive attitude we are able to shrug it off and continue on without a hitch. By choosing a positive attitude each day, we are actually attracting more positive experiences, and reducing the likelihood of negative ones. I like this thought! Today I choose to attract more positive experiences. If you do the same, let me know what positive happenings come your way. |
AuthorThe goal of the blog is to provide interesting, motivational, soul feeding material. All to help remind us that God loves us all and wants a personal relationship with each of us and will take care of us in times of trouble. I aspire to be a force for good by providing you with positive input. I encourage you to share the blog with others. Archives
August 2023
Categories
All
|